The future worth living for...

A child will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for. - Anonymous

School girl

My baby is a school girl now. Excuse me, when did this happen?

The night before we lay out her clothes, pack her lunch and fill up her bag with all the essentials to get her through the next day. Two days a week we do this. In the morning we wake her up early and just like that she goes to preschool from 9-1. Sounds pretty small to most, but to us this was a riveting milestone. This is the first time she has ever been with anyone but family. For me, it is one of those slow releases people tell you about. It is a like teeter totter between doing what's best for her growth and wanting to keep her a baby forever.

Of course, the first week she didn't even make it until one and I was a nervous wreck. The second week, she cried less. But by the third week she is having a blast!! I can already see how much she is learning and growing. She talks non stop now! She dances and sings more than ever. She is making new friends and bonding with her teachers. I could not be more happy!

She still cries everyday when I drop her at the door, but it subsides much more quickly with each new day and I know she has fun. It is just so weird to think of her having a whole day of new experiences without any of us there. She is her own person now.

Pretty soon, we will be packing her up for college.

(Note: I took some really cute pictures of her on the first day of school and then in a moment of oblivion I deleted them from my camera. I thought I had already loaded them on the computer. I will have to take some more pics of school mornings soon.)

A Sack of Potatoes

When you're little life is simple. You don't think for a minute about the latest over priced item you may "need" because everyone else has it. You don't even feel inadequate because you do not have it all. Your barely used heart is just as happy as can be with a plain old sack of potatoes dragging along beside you. Oh the possibilities that little sack could hold. You are content with the everyday; not a worry in the world. Are you taking notes yet? As her mama, I know I am.

Bittersweet

"Isn't it hard on you that your husband is gone all the time?" or the "How do you handle being home alone so often while he is out on the road?", coupled with a face of either disapproval, concern, or sympathy. I get this at least once a week.

I married a musician who stuck with his dream and faithfully turned a childhood hobby into a lifelong profession. With that comes a lot of uncharted and unfamiliar territory for the naive girl by his side. This means our schedules are totally opposite, and he is usually on the road anywhere from 3-5 days a week. When he's gone I get a good morning text, an afternoon call, and finally the most important call sometime between 1-3 am. (Are you coveting me yet?) Sometimes on really good days we IM or text randomly throughout while he is riding in the van to his next destination. (Glamorous, huh?) Another perk of being the wife of a driven musician is the ever so popular job of being the only parent to our little one for days at a time. There is no, "You wait until your father gets home.", because I know it could be awhile. I get the weekend chores to do alone; along with the worries of the presumptuous girls who consider themselves "with the band".

You may or may not be making your own judgements as you read this; but in my mind there is a hint of a silver lining.

I am privileged to stand beside a man who didn't settle. I have been there with him when he literally had nothing, and I heard his protests when so many told him he couldn't. I've been there with him when he tried the 9-5. I saw his face when he came home stripped of his joy every single day of that long year. I've seen him stand firm in his choices, and be more deliberate about his life than many people our age.

In a world where so many allow their job to pick them, or simply surrender themselves to a "successful" career; I feel sad. I especially feel sad for men who are doing something for which they were never made, and it shows on their face. Those men find Chris often. They approach him at church, at a bar, or in a group of friends. They each share their stories with a look of defeat in their eyes about how they always wanted to pursue a God given passion but-for one reason or another-they gave up. They tell him about the breaking point somewhere along the line when they got scared of failure or listened to someone telling them they couldn't.

I was drawn to his passion from the beginning. I respect the drive he has for something he loves. He stuck true to a calling that runs deep in his veins, never wavering by the judgement of others. He is doing exactly what he was made to do, and for that I could never be more proud.

Legacy

Loving...I learned this from my Nannie. She loves unconditionally without a single request in return. Her voice drips of love when she speaks, never a harsh word thrown in your direction. She greets you with a hug and when her soft hands pat you so gently you instantly feel at ease. She loves purely, and I hope someday people say that about me.

Serving...I learned this from my Dale. He is an expert at this. From taking me bowling and letting me jam out to Ace of Base in his car as a little girl; to two hour math tutoring sessions every single night when I was in high school; to driving hours in the snow when I was in college just to bring me home for my first birthday away from home. He served us completely, with no ulterior motive, just to show us his love. He serves completely, and I hope one day people can say that about me.

Sacrifice...I learned this from my Mom. She never puts herself first. She meets the needs of others and runs to the rescue with no excuses. Growing up we had everything, while she often went without. When she hears of a need about someone she may not even really know; she gives her time, money and talents in an attempt to give them just a moments relief. Her actions speak louder than words. She sacrifices selflessly, and I hope someday people can say that about me.

What is your legacy?

Life is Good

So after three weeks off from work, one really nasty dog bite to my sweet girl, and both Mommy and Daddy being sick in the mix...we are finally getting back in our normal groove around here. And Gracie, well she is like practically a teenager. She is cracking us up with her dazzling personality and silly little sense of humor.

Here is some of the latest news from the Gracie world:

* She started walking on July 6th, 2009. She has been VERY close to walking for awhile now and just hadn't worked up the courage to do it yet. I had been working with her everyday hoping she would make her big debut while I was home with her during the day. Guess what, she did!! Would you like to know what made her walk?? She had a fun pink keyboard in her closet that I hadn't gotten out for her yet, and when I did that was plenty of motivation for that little music lover to just walk on over to check it out. I was so proud of her.

* She is obsessed with animals, especially dogs. You can ask, "Gracie, what does a dog say?" She immediately responds, "Woo Woo". Needless to say, when she got bit by a not so child-friendly dog a couple of weeks ago, we thought it might deter her fascination. Nope. She is still obsessed.

* Some of her current favorites things are: twisty, bright straws for her drinks; turning anything into a necklace (she uses her imagination to go as far as grabbing a phone charger out of the wall); her alphabet magnets; going to the park and swinging; watching her favorite show, "Between the Lions"; being chased; crayons; swimming; and singing, "La, La, La, La." Some of her favorites words are; "Da-do, Bye-Bye, Hello, Wow!, Mama, Gigi, her version of Yee-haw" (which is pronounced woo-haa) and asking "What's that?" about everything. At 14 months, she is teaching me more about life than I could ever teach her.

Commitment

Y'all, I've been busy....and thus, you're still looking at my post from 1952-- those of you who haven't given up on me. Life has been a little crazy around our house, and I just started thinking the other day how much I missed my blogging. Writing is something I really love and also I want to keep writing for Gracie as well. I want her to be able to look back and read the thoughts of her crazy mama. I want her to know all the things I may forget to tell her later. So take a deep breath ladies and gentlemen...I'm back in the game.