Sunday, September 7, 2008

Absurdity: Part Two

I feel a real connection with my sweet blogger role model today, Tales from the Running Mama. I remember not too long ago reading her post called Absurdity. At that time, I was a brand new mama and I laughed at her post about dedicating sweet Charlie. I couldn't even imagine Gracie being to that milestone so soon. Her rantings involved a whirlwind of a morning, but ended in a sweet moment of peace. A moment where the serenity of Jesus transcended all of it, right in the middle of her everyday chaos.

Here is where my story picks up (not quite as eloquently written as hers)....imagine, if you will, this picture.

It's 4:00 AM, AM PEOPLE.... We are driving back into Dallas from yet another gig, (this being the glamorous life of a rocker husband) and only one thought is on the front front of our minds. We need to be a church at 7:30, this is the day that Gracie is getting dedicated. I think to myself about this huge day in our lives as parents, and hers, as a daughter of the Lord.

It's 6:30 AM...We hear the alarm screeching through the silence. After pushing snooze a few times, we get up almost in a dream-like state and rummage through our closets for something that is nice to honor this day, the day she will be dedicated. Today a CT Kids t-shirt and jeans just will not work.

It's 7:30... We are driving down the road feeling barely alive and I am putting on my make-up. I think about the task ahead of me. I am about to make a promise to give her to Jesus and trust her in His care. I am really cut out for this job?

It's 7:50....We pull into the church parking lot and instantly we go through our separate routines of another Sunday as church employees. Unload the gear, set up the classrooms, (which this Sunday consisted of putting together a futon) make sure all the new volunteers get to their rooms, put on a smile, and greet all our families. All the while thinking about her, Gracie Ann, and how on this crazy day with two hours of sleep and the thoughts of teaching her all the right things and being all that she needs swirling over our heads. Am I really capable of being the one who will teach her completely about the love of the Lord, a love that I am still trying to comprehend myself?

It's 10:45...finally time. She is beautiful in pink and brown. We parade across the stage and make a promise to her and to our church family to raise her to know the Lord, to do our best to give her over to Him. The people pray for us. I take a peek of all of the sweet people with their hands extended in prayer and I feel overwhelmed. I feel blessed and filled with so much hope.

Afterwards, my mother-in-law, gave me a bag to open for this special day. Curiously, I open it to see framed, beautiful pink words before my eyes that instantly calm my anxious heart.

"....for God so loved Gracie Ann that he gave his only begotten Son..."

With tears in my eyes I realize, I don't have to be everything for her.

He already has been, and will always be, everything she will ever need.

Jesus heard my heart that morning. He was listening to a nervous mama just wanting to be enough. What my head forgot, but my heart soon remembered, He is enough.


Runningmama said...

Isn't it funny how the coolest God moments happen when we are completely drained? He is so much easier for me to see when I am not in the way.

Congratulations Gracie! I am so glad your mama wrote down the details of your special day (and with eloquence!!!). You are a very loved little girl!

Thanks for the link love!

Jamie Mullins said...

Whoo...ok I am sitting in a puddle of tears and you are about to be at my house. Gracie Ann is so blessed to have you as her mommy!

The Longs said...
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The Longs said...

Oh Beka, what a beautiful moment...I'm so glad you shared it with all of us! Hope things are going great...Miss You!