it's been awhile...

I have a lot of blank boxes this month on the baby calendar I keep of Gracie's first year. On it I carefully note all of her "firsts", her favorite things, and whatever else I think merits going down as a memory. Needless to say not much has happened lately in terms of baby milestones around our house. That is also another reason why I have not posted in a while, thinking without a major milestone, I have nothing worthy of writing for the blogging public.

However, I remembered today while rocking her I was wrong. There are so many things she has been doing that are very much worth writing about, even though there may not be a pre-made sticker that came with the calendar of each of these unique moments, such as "first smile" or "first doctor's visit." I thought I would share our moments with you, as small as they may be, they are what I get excited about.

The other night while sitting in the rocking chair rocking her to sleep, I pressed my cheek to hers and thought "I will love you forever". Immediately after the thought entered my mind, she grabbed around my neck and squeezed as hard as she could. Mind-Reader? I think so.

She has been trying so hard to talk. Each time we talk to her she moves her mouth to copy our words and then her eyes light up like she has done something worth being proud. Then yesterday, while sitting with her daddy, I heard him yell, "Baby, she is talking. She just said 'moo' twice." I laughed and said, "Wow, that is really cool." But secretly, I don't really think that would count as a word though unless she were a baby calf.

There are so many more little things that she does like moving positions from where I lay in her crib, grabbing onto her favorite toys and smiling, sleeping a full 8 hours through the night, and discovering her feet and almost laughing at them. These are the things that probably don't mean anything to anyone else, but make my day complete. My heart is full, even if her calendar doesn't show it.

Isn't she Lovely...

Sweet Baby

Dear Gracie,

You are two months old! I know I can't believe it either! This last month has been so full and so fun as you have begun to develop your own little personality and become your own little person! The best thing about this month is that you have started to coo and smile at mommy and daddy when you hear our voices and see our faces. How sweet that is for us to see such perfection.

This month started off by you spending all your time with daddy. Mama had to go back to work for two weeks to end the school year with my class, and daddy stayed home to take care of you. He did a great job with you and got you on a great sleeping schedule. He is not just a great daddy, but a great husband too. He not only took care of you during the day, but he did all the late night feedings too, so that mommy would be all rested up for work the next day. He is very selfless when it comes to you, sweet baby. I was proud of him. He loves you so much and wants to protect you from the world. Now that summer is here, I am home every day with you and we have so much fun together! You keep me very busy! We have been to the pool, to the park, and to watch daddy play music. You are very adventurous!

I absolutely love watching you grow and change and I always anticipate every milestone you will cross, but it is a bittersweet journey being your mommy. I was very sad when I had to pack up all your newborn clothes because you had outgrown them so fast. You have also started sleeping in your room in your crib and I was so scared to let go of you at first, but you sleep so much better in your big crib. I know that you have much more growing to do sweet baby. This is only the beginning of the adventure of being your mommy and the series of letting you go a little bit at a time. But for now you are still my sweet little baby girl and I will keep each moment tucked away in my heart forever.

Love you,

Mama

Overcome

Tonight I sit here in front of my computer in a cozy little home, a beautiful sleeping baby girl I am watching on the monitor, and the dull sound of music in the background as my diligent husband is recording in the next room. It seems as if everything is right in our world, but I can not help but feel overcome.

I feel for a mother and father who lost their son in a senseless death a few days ago. Tonight at the funeral home I gave the father a smile and saw only a blank stare on his worn face. I feel scared for a beautiful nineteen year old girl who lays in a hospital bed tonight as her mother, father, and so many friends wait patiently and pray for the latest updates. I feel for my old college minister who lost his seventeen year old nephew this week...he was about to start his senior year of high school. I pray for a dear sister who longs for a child and feels hopeless at times. I cry for a mother who lost her sweet baby and is still so full of faith as I read her thoughts everyday. I try to sort through why people walk away from marriages and leave their promises behind. I am overcome.

I look to my God and ask why it seems so dark out there. I hear a stillness that requires me to trust. To trust that He knows exactly how my heart feels in this moment. To trust that He is walking with each of these families as they try to conjure up strength from their innermost being. To trust that He hears my prayers for each of these. Prayers for a perfect peace that will calm their troubled hearts and the "stormy seas" in their midst. I know you are there God. You have a beautiful tapestry painted for each one of their lives. My prayer is that they know it too and just trust.

This is the verse that has been hanging on my fridge for months. I clung to this during the some of the darkest places of my life this past year. I was in a place of a horrible unknown. I truly did not know if my marriage would survive all of the blows it had taken. I was in a broken place. A place where all I could do was trust.
Psalm 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their Trust in the Lord."
Guess what...it did survive. Now it is more than I could have ever hoped for. Through pain HE has created such beauty.

I am overcome, not by these present troubles, but from the neverending and true faithfulness of my amazing Heavenly Father.

The Family

Gracie in her swing being cute.

Aunt Candice and Mommy

Uncle Taylor and Mommy

At first there were two.

Sleepy Gracie after a busy weekend and Mommy.

Here are some new pictures that we have taken of our little family. We had a great Father's Day weekend. Chris had a show on the lake on Saturday night and Uncle Collin and Aunt Candice came to watch. While Mommy and Daddy were doing that, Gracie went with her Gigi and Poppa Dale to her first rodeo. Then, on Sunday we had Father's day dinner and Gracie gave her daddy two new pairs of flip flops and a new iPhone for being such a great daddy!

Schools out for the Summer!

Another school year is over and I have let another group of my babies go onto third grade. I worried over them everyday and hoped that I was teaching them enough to prepare them for the next grueling year. Most importantly, I hope that I taught them how to be good people and find their talents and make good choices. I loved all of my kids this year and they definitely made me a better teacher.

I was so glad that Gracie got the chance to come up and meet them. The kids have been watching me grow and talking about baby Gracie all year. When they were making artwork about their favorite 2nd grade memories, most all of them wrote "Baby Gracie". They worried all year about me being on my feet, what I was eating and drinking, and how she was growing. They also had lots of advice, since a lot of them are experts with baby brothers and sisters. This class will always be so special to me!!

Oklahoma

Mommy, Aunt Erin, Aunt Courtney, and Gracie Ann

Dr. Aunt Erin and Gracie Ann

Although Gracie is a native born Texan, there are a few reasons we just love Oklahoma. One of them is the amazing friends we have there. We just went up this weekend to watch my best friend, Erin, graduate from OU Med School. We are so proud of her accomplishment!! Gracie was proud too, and showed it by being a perfect baby through the whole graduation. I am a blessed mommy!

Another reason we love it is all the good memories we have there. That state holds some of my most precious memories from college. When I cross that state line and breath that Oklahoma air, it never fails, I can't help but reminisce.

Last, but not least, that is where I met and fell in love with Gracie's daddy. So I guess you could say that Gracie is half Okie.

Things just seem a little bit simpler there. Maybe it is because I was there at a simpler time in my life...when all I had to worry about was making it to class on time.