A Princess, a Rockstar, and our Saving Grace

When I Grow Up...

2010-04-04T22:23:00.003-05:00

I will fight for kids who don't have a voice
and open my home to those who need one.

I will run a marathon and eat fudge for breakfast.

I jump on a plane and travel the world.

I will write a book for grown-ups,
and also a series for kids.

I will have a home on the beach and one in the mountains.

I'll sit on a porch swing with my love
and remember back on all the growing up.

Thanks for the idea Court. Love you!

Something Heavenly

2010-03-09T16:19:00.002-06:00

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

By: Sanctus Real

A very sweet and dear mentor of mine sent me a text earlier. She told me that she was praying this song over me today. I couldn't help but post it for you to read. I hope that it inspires you to draw near to a God who wants more for you.

I think this is my favorite verse:

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

That just sounds so heavenly to me, doesn't it to you?

Storing up My Teasures

2010-01-04T20:32:00.005-06:00

These are my mommy treasures as of late.

-Seeing her sweet spirit develop as she grows into her great big heart.
-Watching her kiss her babies and tuck them in so gently.
-Seeing her love for music grow stronger as she learns songs, hums in the car and rocks out when Daddy plays guitar. (He says they have a "musical connection".)
-Hearing her say "please", "bless you" and "thank you" as she learns to mind her manners.
-Seeing how she captivates an audience so easily.
-Hearing her "read" a book to me.
-Watching the excitement on her face as she sees familiar things she loves. (Like a cookie!)
-Seeing her fight for attention, especially when Daddy kisses or hugs Mommy instead of her. :)
-Watching her be independent and hearing her tell me exactly what she wants with her different noises and pointing fingers only a mommy can understand.
-Watching her enjoy the simple things in life like flowers, bright colors and lights, rolly pollys, dancing and animals of all kinds.
-Allowing her to remind my adult heart that the simple things are worth enjoying in my fast paced world.
-Seeing her play pretend in Mommy's shoes, makeup and jewelry.
-Seeing her grow and learn each day that I am blessed enough to be called her Mommy.

"...But His mother treasured all these things in her heart." Luke 2:51

The future worth living for...

2009-10-24T19:57:00.002-05:00

A child will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for. - Anonymous

Hope for the Darkness Pt. 4

2009-10-18T20:45:00.002-05:00

by Christie Weehunt, 23
-India Office Liaison for Sower of Seeds International Ministries

Hope for the Darkness

He will help the oppressed, who have none to defend them…

“73.7% of all girls trapped inside the brothel system must be rescued if they are to ever reach the outside world again.” –Kamala Sarup, Nepal correspondent with Lys Anzia, Women News Network

If the story were to end when we walked out of the district, I would be hopeless. I don’t want to see a need just to be better informed. I don’t want God to break my heart just for the sake of breaking it. I believe that there is a bigger purpose–that God allows us to see things not only for awareness, but because He invites us to be the solution.

God is moving in the red light district. He is rescuing, saving, healing and transforming. He will redeem the helpless. One way or another, His justice will cover them. He is already raising an army:

Former prostitutes.

Former madams.

Former pimps.

And you.

Vast darkness may seem overwhelming, but He is a very Big God. When His beloved is a shield for the powerless, even nations will quake with His glory.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. –Romans 8:38-39 (NASB)

To learn more about Red Light Rescue visit www.sowerofseeds.org/rescue.

Born Into Darkness Pt. 3

2009-10-17T08:48:00.004-05:00

This one stirs my heart so...those sweet babies. Lord protect them, this just feels like too much.

Born Into Darkness
by Christie Weehunt, 23
India Office Liaison for Sower of Seeds International

Sexual slavery: a legacy none want to leave…

Ninety-five percent of children of prostituted women will become prostitutes themselves. –Sheela Remedios, Project Child (via Robert I. Freedman, “India’s Shame: Sexual Slavery and Political Corruption are Leading to an AIDS Catastrophe,” The Nation, 8 April 1996)

On our way to the next brothel, there was a prostitute lying on a cot under a tent with her pimp at a table next to her. She had white medicine covering the open wounds all over her face. We couldn’t get details, but apparently something happened the night before. She lay in the fetal position while her child crawled around next to her.

In another brothel, a woman sat next to me on the floor, wearing a beautiful blue-flowered sari. This woman had sent her daughter to a home for children because she didn’t want her to grow up as a prostitute. When we prayed for her, one of our team (a mother too) hugged her and began wailing as the woman cried. They grieved together for her deep loss, one mother to another.

Children are everywhere in the district. I learned from our guides that the mothers often hide them under the bed or drug them to keep them quiet and safe during “work”. If not given to a home, most of the children will end up sexually abused themselves or trafficked into another brothel. The mothers are forced to raise their children in depravity, or give them to a home. For most of the women, their children are the only ones who have ever truly loved them. It is a painful dilemma.

Join with others to take the pledge to end this horrific form of slavery.

Trapped in the Darkness Pt. 2

2009-10-16T15:03:00.005-05:00

I began to share a journey with you yesterday of a girl who traveled to a place most of us never even think about. Continue reading and praying with me. Pray that the kingdom of heaven would shine brightly on these sweet daughters.

by Christie Weehunt, 23
India Office Liaison for Sower of Seeds International

In the summer of 2009, a group from SOS dressed in Indian attire and entered Asia’s largest red light district to pray for the prostitutes working inside. Guiding us were several Indian women who minister daily to these forgotten daughters. What we saw on the streets and in the brothels was dark and horrible, but deeper still were the seeds of Christ, shining like lamps of hope. His eyes are on His precious ones, and He is hungry for their redemption.

The Victims
Trapped in the darkness…

In Asia’s largest red light district, three square kilometers are home to an estimated 40,000 women working its 24 lanes, earning at least $200 million a year in revenue for their traffickers. They service up to 25 clients a day and make around $1.50.

Although young, the women carried ancient heaviness. As we prayed, each face expressed something different. The girl to my left was dressed in the classic skirt and tank top that many of the young prostitutes wear. She was from east India, maybe Nagaland or Shilong and looked to be around twenty-two. She cried the entire time we were there, but when we prayed for her, she sobbed. Looking into her eyes I could see both desperation and hope.

I thought about some of the stories I heard before we came—a girl with a large scar on her forearm where a client had paid to cut the skin off with a razor. Another whose pimp sent man after man to rape her until she gave in to his demand of walking the street for him. Girls kept in secret cages, beaten, starved, abandoned. The poverty in India is horrendous. Most of these women were from the poorest, most desolate slums where their families could not imagine a worse fate for them than the one they were born into. And yet, here they were…

One woman really caught my attention. She was about nineteen and had a black scarf with brightly colored stripes pinned tightly along her hairline, covering her hair. As she gazed, her eyes, lined with thick black cagel (coal eyeliner), revealed years of abuse and neglect. There was openness about her, but also the oppression of a seductive spirit. I could feel the spiritual battle going on for her soul.

I thought of the woman with the Alabaster jar–how overcome she must have felt when Jesus looked at her with love. In the midst of this brothel, with its curtained “rooms” and hollow inhabitants, I have never before felt a more real, tangible presence of Jesus. Even in the dark-stained eyes of this forgotten daughter, He was with her, like a warm, bright light. It was like He was physically standing next to her saying “This is my daughter. The world has forgotten about her, but I haven’t forgotten. I’m right here with her, right here as everyday she is mistreated. I see it all and I don’t leave for one second.”

Sign the pledge to stop Human Trafficking.

We ask for your commitment to pray for the rescue of girls trapped in slavery, being informed about issues related to trafficking and spreading the word that we are not powerless in the fight against slavery. — SOS Int'l

Rescue (Into the Heart of Darkness Pt. 1)

2009-10-15T20:43:00.007-05:00

I grew up my whole life wanting to be rescued. I wanted a father who I knew would come for me just to fight for me, while abandoning all fear that he would leave. I wanted a knight in shining armor to make me feel I was valuable and full of worth. Even as an adult I wonder when things will ever feel perfect...with my family, my marriage, or in the mere act of balancing life. But when I read something so heart wrenching as this, it allows me the privilege to redefine my definition of perfect.

Read Christie's words along with me over the next week. I pray to gain a little perspective as I try to open wide my eyes and heart to something so imperfect that it hurts you to your soul. There is a whole world waiting there that kills me to even think about, but then I remember that little girl...just wanting to be rescued and I can't help but want to share their story.

Written by Christie Weehunt, 23
India Office Liaison for Sower of Seeds International

In the summer of 2009, a group from SOS dressed in Indian attire and entered Asia’s largest red light district to pray for the prostitutes working inside. Guiding us were several Indian women who minister daily to these forgotten daughters. What we saw on the streets and in the brothels was dark and horrible, but deeper still were the seeds of Christ, shining like lamps of hope.

His eyes are on His precious ones, and He is hungry for their redemption.

The Darkness

A few facts…

Human trafficking: The act of recruiting, transporting, transferring, harboring, or receipt of persons by use of force, coercion, abduction, fraud, deception, abuse of power or vulnerability, or giving of payments to a person in control of the victim. Victims are purposed for sexual exploitation, forced labor, slavery, or removal of organs.

In India, there are over 3 million sex trafficking victims, 1.2 million of them are children. Girls between 10 and 12 fetch the highest price. They are thrown in cages for up to 3 years while they are repeatedly raped, beaten, and tortured until they lose all of their will. Then they are sent out on the streets as prostitutes, making money for their captors.

I was told we were dressing up in Indian outfits to minister in the darkest, dirtiest corner of Asia: the largest red light district. I had no idea what it would be like, but I knew I would never forget the day.

As we walked down the crowded, narrow lanes, we had to step carefully over the heaping piles of trash and sewage at our feet. Rats scurried everywhere. It was late morning and the district was slowly waking up after a night’s work. Women were playing with their children and doing each other’s hair. Street vendors were making breakfast and selling tea. Tables full of pimps were out playing cards and relaxing.

Walking into that first brothel was like walking into a slum house. There were probably twelve women my age crowded around our team as we entered. We squeezed into the front room–as many women as could fit. A curtain blocked the entrance to their “rooms.” Small children mingled all around. An occasional customer came by, but the madam turned them away at the door. Her girls had special visitors.

I was mesmerized by the place, the faces. I looked at each of the women present, captured by what I saw in their eyes. Some blankly stared outside, others cried. I wanted to know each woman’s story, where she was from, how she ended up here.

But for a little geography, it could have been me.

Visit here to see an amazing ministry working hard to fight this awful darkness.

School girl

2009-09-25T15:28:00.003-05:00

My baby is a school girl now. Excuse me, when did this happen?

The night before we lay out her clothes, pack her lunch and fill up her bag with all the essentials to get her through the next day. Two days a week we do this. In the morning we wake her up early and just like that she goes to preschool from 9-1. Sounds pretty small to most, but to us this was a riveting milestone. This is the first time she has ever been with anyone but family. For me, it is one of those slow releases people tell you about. It is a like teeter totter between doing what's best for her growth and wanting to keep her a baby forever.

Of course, the first week she didn't even make it until one and I was a nervous wreck. The second week, she cried less. But by the third week she is having a blast!! I can already see how much she is learning and growing. She talks non stop now! She dances and sings more than ever. She is making new friends and bonding with her teachers. I could not be more happy!

She still cries everyday when I drop her at the door, but it subsides much more quickly with each new day and I know she has fun. It is just so weird to think of her having a whole day of new experiences without any of us there. She is her own person now.

Pretty soon, we will be packing her up for college.

(Note: I took some really cute pictures of her on the first day of school and then in a moment of oblivion I deleted them from my camera. I thought I had already loaded them on the computer. I will have to take some more pics of school mornings soon.)

A Sack of Potatoes

2009-08-08T23:10:00.005-05:00

When you're little life is simple. You don't think for a minute about the latest over priced item you may "need" because everyone else has it. You don't even feel inadequate because you do not have it all. Your barely used heart is just as happy as can be with a plain old sack of potatoes dragging along beside you. Oh the possibilities that little sack could hold. You are content with the everyday; not a worry in the world. Are you taking notes yet? As her mama, I know I am.

Bittersweet

2009-07-25T17:03:00.008-05:00

"Isn't it hard on you that your husband is gone all the time?" or the "How do you handle being home alone so often while he is out on the road?", coupled with a face of either disapproval, concern, or sympathy. I get this at least once a week.

I married a musician who stuck with his dream and faithfully turned a childhood hobby into a lifelong profession. With that comes a lot of uncharted and unfamiliar territory for the naive girl by his side. This means our schedules are totally opposite, and he is usually on the road anywhere from 3-5 days a week. When he's gone I get a good morning text, an afternoon call, and finally the most important call sometime between 1-3 am. (Are you coveting me yet?) Sometimes on really good days we IM or text randomly throughout while he is riding in the van to his next destination. (Glamorous, huh?) Another perk of being the wife of a driven musician is the ever so popular job of being the only parent to our little one for days at a time. There is no, "You wait until your father gets home.", because I know it could be awhile. I get the weekend chores to do alone; along with the worries of the presumptuous girls who consider themselves "with the band".

You may or may not be making your own judgements as you read this; but in my mind there is a hint of a silver lining.

I am privileged to stand beside a man who didn't settle. I have been there with him when he literally had nothing, and I heard his protests when so many told him he couldn't. I've been there with him when he tried the 9-5. I saw his face when he came home stripped of his joy every single day of that long year. I've seen him stand firm in his choices, and be more deliberate about his life than many people our age.

In a world where so many allow their job to pick them, or simply surrender themselves to a "successful" career; I feel sad. I especially feel sad for men who are doing something for which they were never made, and it shows on their face. Those men find Chris often. They approach him at church, at a bar, or in a group of friends. They each share their stories with a look of defeat in their eyes about how they always wanted to pursue a God given passion but-for one reason or another-they gave up. They tell him about the breaking point somewhere along the line when they got scared of failure or listened to someone telling them they couldn't.

I was drawn to his passion from the beginning. I respect the drive he has for something he loves. He stuck true to a calling that runs deep in his veins, never wavering by the judgement of others. He is doing exactly what he was made to do, and for that I could never be more proud.

Legacy

2009-07-24T14:12:00.001-05:00

Loving...I learned this from my Nannie. She loves unconditionally without a single request in return. Her voice drips of love when she speaks, never a harsh word thrown in your direction. She greets you with a hug and when her soft hands pat you so gently you instantly feel at ease. She loves purely, and I hope someday people say that about me.

Serving...I learned this from my Dale. He is an expert at this. From taking me bowling and letting me jam out to Ace of Base in his car as a little girl; to two hour math tutoring sessions every single night when I was in high school; to driving hours in the snow when I was in college just to bring me home for my first birthday away from home. He served us completely, with no ulterior motive, just to show us his love. He serves completely, and I hope one day people can say that about me.

Sacrifice...I learned this from my Mom. She never puts herself first. She meets the needs of others and runs to the rescue with no excuses. Growing up we had everything, while she often went without. When she hears of a need about someone she may not even really know; she gives her time, money and talents in an attempt to give them just a moments relief. Her actions speak louder than words. She sacrifices selflessly, and I hope someday people can say that about me.

What is your legacy?

Life is Good

2009-07-21T20:59:00.015-05:00

So after three weeks off from work, one really nasty dog bite to my sweet girl, and both Mommy and Daddy being sick in the mix...we are finally getting back in our normal groove around here. And Gracie, well she is like practically a teenager. She is cracking us up with her dazzling personality and silly little sense of humor.

Here is some of the latest news from the Gracie world:

* She started walking on July 6th, 2009. She has been VERY close to walking for awhile now and just hadn't worked up the courage to do it yet. I had been working with her everyday hoping she would make her big debut while I was home with her during the day. Guess what, she did!! Would you like to know what made her walk?? She had a fun pink keyboard in her closet that I hadn't gotten out for her yet, and when I did that was plenty of motivation for that little music lover to just walk on over to check it out. I was so proud of her.

* She is obsessed with animals, especially dogs. You can ask, "Gracie, what does a dog say?" She immediately responds, "Woo Woo". Needless to say, when she got bit by a not so child-friendly dog a couple of weeks ago, we thought it might deter her fascination. Nope. She is still obsessed.

* Some of her current favorites things are: twisty, bright straws for her drinks; turning anything into a necklace (she uses her imagination to go as far as grabbing a phone charger out of the wall); her alphabet magnets; going to the park and swinging; watching her favorite show, "Between the Lions"; being chased; crayons; swimming; and singing, "La, La, La, La." Some of her favorites words are; "Da-do, Bye-Bye, Hello, Wow!, Mama, Gigi, her version of Yee-haw" (which is pronounced woo-haa) and asking "What's that?" about everything. At 14 months, she is teaching me more about life than I could ever teach her.

Commitment

2009-07-19T00:54:00.007-05:00

Y'all, I've been busy....and thus, you're still looking at my post from 1952-- those of you who haven't given up on me. Life has been a little crazy around our house, and I just started thinking the other day how much I missed my blogging. Writing is something I really love and also I want to keep writing for Gracie as well. I want her to be able to look back and read the thoughts of her crazy mama. I want her to know all the things I may forget to tell her later. So take a deep breath ladies and gentlemen...I'm back in the game.

I miss my friends

2009-05-09T20:00:00.007-05:00

*** Disclaimer: If you think sororities are dumb, or if you have ever thought of us as people who pay for our friends, just go on ahead and click on another link. I won't be mad. If you are anyone else, allow me to explain.

This weekend I have been feeling very ~~sorry for myself~~ nostalgic.

I miss my friends. By friends I mean the ones who lived with me in Small Town, Oklahoma in a dorm hall with a red door and an owl painted on the sidewalk. The girls who I shared everything with, including the two Greek letters on the front of all of my t-shirts.

Last night, I made the mistake of looking at my college website (who does that anyway) and then from there I curiously navigated to the home page of the Phi Theta chapter of Chi Omega. I began to glance through dozen of pictures. Pictures from rush, formals, date parties, football games, Homecoming, etc. As I clicked away, my heart ached a little bit. It seemed as if something was missing in each picture I saw. The events and the backgrounds were all the same, but the faces were all different. New girls had taken the places of where my best friends and I once stood with the same smiling faces. It just hit me like a ton of bricks, I miss them.

I miss:
-living on the same floor with all of my best friends
-having about 20 closets from which to choose my daily wardrobe
-driving around town with our 55 cent Diet Dr. Peppers from Docs with the music blaring
-Dance parties in our dorm rooms
-The second floor :)
-Walking to class and meeting at the fountain
-$3 movie nights
-Darla the ghost
-Chi Omega family craziness
-Wintersmith Park
-twin beds that could be moved into a million different arrangements
-Homecoming floats
-Annie
-The Cafo
-Intramurals
-Stalking
-Chi Omega Choo Choo
-Daylight at Midnight
-Must I go on???

My favorite memories are from the everyday. Those were the good old days, and I didn't even know it. I am who I am today because of the time I spent with them.

X and a horseshoe, Chi-O.

One.

2009-04-23T23:14:00.002-05:00

Your little life has been fleeting, but you've made more of an impact than most ever will in just a short year. The past year has been a peek inside a story so much bigger than me. A story that is being written in spite of myself. Your tiny little existence has influenced a change in a well-laden path for all generations who will come after you. And to think, you began this change even before you took your first breath.

A new life meant that we were no longer the main characters in our self absorbed stories. You gave us a reason to fight, a reason to be better. When you were growing inside of me we learned a whole new way to love. We decided that reverting back to our old, broken ways of doing things was no longer who we would choose to be anymore. No more defaults, only deliberate choices laid ahead for us. Your existence has been the catalyst in a new chapter being written in our lives. One where rebuilding ancient ruins has been accomplished; and your little life, my sweet daughter, was the first stone laid on the path towards restoration.

With each passing day I get to wake up and see you here, I see the true power of an all-knowing God. A God who extends love to the broken and grace to the undeserving.

Happy Birthday Grace Ann Bullard. One year of you is way more than I deserve.

Eleven months and counting...

2009-03-23T21:18:00.001-05:00

Eleven months old is what you are. That is a big accomplishment.

The days of you being here on this Earth in months are getting to be very few. You are about to have a whole year under your belt, sweet girl. One whole year of you! A wise mother once told me; “The days are long, but the years are short.” Now, as your mother, I feel that to be very true.

I love you more each minute.

America's Next Top Model...

2009-03-13T21:02:00.003-05:00

Click here to see heart melting shots of sweet Graciebug. These are sooo CUTE!!! Thanks to our awesome photographer, Julie Birdseye, we have some of the most precious pics I have ever seen and I will cherish them for a lifetime. I am amazed at how well she captured the personality and essence of all things Gracie. Tell me what you think! Which one is your favorite?

Sneak Peek

2009-03-10T14:23:00.002-05:00

I am so excited about our latest family pics!! Julie Birdseye took them and she is definitely an amazing photographer. It also helps that her subject is the cutest blue eyed beauty in the world!! Here is just a sneak peek and there are many more to come!

Cuter than cute...

2009-03-08T22:24:00.006-05:00

Look at this cute little monster I ordered for Graciebug today on Etsy. She needs a comfort toy for when she misses Mama. I knew this one was perfect right when I spotted it. Maybe it will help through her current clingy stage (fingers crossed), or maybe it will just be as cute as she is.

The Farm

2009-03-07T22:15:00.014-06:00

Friday afternoon would mark the end of another week. Inevitably; we loaded up that grey, single cab, Ford pickup truck with everything we would need for the weekend. We would pile inside, always sitting in the same order starting from the driver's seat: Popeye, Taylor, Beka, Nannie. Squeezed in as close as we could be on the leather seat, all we could do was just ride in the couple hours it took to get there. To fill the time we had a soundtrack of eighties and nineties country music playing loudly in the background; as we enjoyed homemade peanut butter crackers and Cokes we had packed for the road.

Once we got to town, we would pull over and make the routine stop at the local grocery store. Nannie ran inside to get all the essentials needed for a weekend on the farm, and we would stay in the truck and people watch. Dusk came quickly, and Nannie would emerge with sacks on each arm that would soon be put in the bed of the Ford. Finally, we would drive that last twenty minute stretch down the country road to the big white gate that marked our arrival. This was my favorite part because I would prop my little eight year old self up on Popeye's lap and steer the wheel all the way there.

The weekends were packed full of more adventures than a brother and sister could devour. Our days were full of deer hunting, fishing in the tanks, racing our bikes, planting gardens, swimming, diving off the deck into the old fashioned inter tubes, sitting around the fire, swinging in the hammock, and just about anything else we could pack into those short 48 hours. Cowboy boots and swimming suits were pretty much the extent of my wardrobe during the summer days on the farm; and my warmest jacket and toboggan during the winter ones. When each day would come to an end we would all cozy up in that one room cabin to watch whatever show the rabbit ears would allow; yet in my little girl brain I felt like I was at the finest five star resort in Texas.

Sunday would come in just the blink of an eye. Around noon, we would load back up again and ride back home the same way we came; sometimes with the addition of a few treasures brought back as proof of the weekend's fun. We would head home towards the Dallas skyline with the East Texas woods in our rear view mirror. I always couldn't wait to get home to tell Mama all we had done that trip, but looking back each weekend at the farm was almost the same. It was a place so wonderful for a little girl whose life at home was often unpredictable.

That is how nearly each one of my weekends repeated themselves for years, until adolescence crept in and seemingly more important things took the place of my farm adventures. I sit here now in my grown up body and know that those little girl memories are, quite possibly, some of the sweetest I've got.

Are you sure it's been 10 months?

2009-02-27T20:20:00.003-06:00

There is no way that 10 months have flown by this quickly. At this time last year, I had just started painting your pink walls and measuring the space between each green polka-dot. We set up your crib and made sure everything was perfect for when you would come into our world. I had finally begun to feel like I was past the "I love being pregnant" stage, and I was so ready for you to actually be here. Time was moving very slowly. I really thought your day would never come, and my ribs could take no more of your already strong legs:). I'm not quite in such a hurry anymore, but time has decided to move fast on its own. I really want to push pause, or even go back to when you were brand new. You are like a real little person now, pulling up on everything with those same strong legs and knowing you are the queen in any scene. Sometimes when I try to reach out and grab a memory from just a few months ago, I can't. I am just trying to drink in each second of your smiles, faces, new words and sounds, watching you play, and helping you take steps. Your favorites right now are: falling asleep in your swing, mac and cheese, dancing to music, shaking your head no, mocking other babies when they cry or other people when they cough, looking at books, your little guitar, playing with things you aren't supposed to play with, chewing on your shoes, and your bathtime duckies. Your least right now favorites are: when mama asks you to sign for "more" when I am feeding you (you just pretend like you are too tired and then rub your eyes until I give you more anyway), baby food (now a thing of the past because table food has taken the place of Gerber), and the rocking horse you got for Christmas because it is just scary to you. Sometimes I look at you and wonder how I got so lucky. Who am I to have been blessed with something so wonderful as you? One of my favorites is in the quiet of the night when I go into your room to move you from your swing to your crib. You lay your little head in the crook of my neck, I pray my mommy prayers over your life. I pray that the kingdom of heaven will rain down in your little life. Thank you, Jesus, for my little bug...she is wonderful.

Look at this face...

2009-02-07T22:41:00.005-06:00

Look at this face, so innocent and sweet. Nothing could ever make me feel any different, except maybe the recent events of last Wednesday morning...

It hit me suddenly, like the rush of a forgotten memory finding its way to the forefront of my mind. It was a "something is not right" feeling weighing on my shoulders or, as some would call it, a mother's instinct. I curiously and quietly approached her bedroom door hoping to determine the reason for my suspicion. As a drew closer, the smell immediately reached my nose and it confirmed there had been some foul play on the other side of that sparkling "G". In a small panic I swung the door open to survey the damage; and I saw it everywhere. Her sheets, stuffed animals, pink pajamas, face, hands, and even her crib were all alibis to the morning's events and they had the brown stains to prove it.

The culprit was a guilty little girl with a quivering lower lip. The accomplice was a day old, poopy diaper whose remnants were now smeared all over my precious bundle of joy. Unbeknowst to me, the used diaper had been stuffed by an innocent bystander into the top of a very full Diaper Genie in the corner of the room. Coincidentally enough, it was just within arms reach of a determined, chubby hand reaching through the rails of her crib. Once the diaper had been spotted, it was already too late. I have never seen a face look so guilty as her's did that morning. Those blue eyes full of worry told the story of exactly how the stinky situation had transpired.

It took me almost a half a day to get the smell out of my nose and lots of soap and bleach to clean up the aftermath, but nothing will ever erase the memory of that morning from my Mommy Rolodex.

Guitar Hero

2009-01-28T23:57:00.002-06:00

My Favorite Nine...

2009-01-25T22:52:00.004-06:00

You are a diva with an attitude that is too cute for words. You have a big personality with big blue eyes to back it up.

You are so animated and you love to make silly faces; especially at mama. You love to stick out your tongue and make funny noises, too. Everywhere we go, you know the tricks you can show off that will charm pretty much anyone. You have the ability to captivate every audience.

You are scooting around so fast and rolling all over the place. Not to mention that you are pulling up on everything, even the bathtub while you are in it!! You are so active and independent, sometimes I don't even recognize you at all! But, I quickly remember when I walk out of the room for only a minute and I hear your over-dramatic baby cry. This is my simple reminder that you still need your mama. Almost instinctively; I come in, scoop you up, and you grab onto my neck. I look at your sweet baby face and see your three-toothed smile, with no real tears in your baby blues. I hate to admit it, but I just love that you need me that much.

You are growing into this strong-willed, funny, tender-hearted, sweet little girl. You have your own likes and dislikes. You have your own opinion and you aren't afraid to share it with others:). I will try my best to let you grow into the person you want to become, with the unique talents God has given you. Daddy says he is proud of the beautiful personality you have started showing us more and more everyday. We couldn't ask for more than being your Mommy and Daddy. The nine months of having you on this Earth have been my favorite.

Love you more,

Mama

Words for my now...

2009-01-20T20:43:00.006-06:00

Crazy.
One word I would definitely use to describe this hectic season in my life right now. Example #1: I just got my Christmas tree down, and ladies and gentlemen, its January 20th. Example #2: Taking a shower seems like a luxury and make-up has been on the back burner for a few weeks now. Must I go on?

Gorgeous.
This precious baby girl who is growing so fast in front of me. Some days I hardly even recognize her because she is changing so quickly and growing so big. I don't want to miss anything...not one thing. I want to soak her in, and never forget even a second.

Undeserving.
I can't wrap my mind around it. People who pour into others' lives without asking anything in return. People who will give, talk, and love the second they meet you; as if they have known you all their lives. There are two who did that for us, and it was enough. Just enough for them to be Jesus with skin on in that very moment.

Loved.
God has seriously shown up in a big way in this department. Knowing that I am truly loved by Him has been very apparent lately. God has given me a place of solace and renewal in this season of change, growth, and chaos. Even on the bad days, it doesn't get any better than that.

The last 8 months of 2008...

2008-12-31T18:06:00.002-06:00

Gracie,

The last 8 months of 2008 have been the most life changing but life giving. I have become a whole new person because of you.

I spent the last day of 2007 planning a party for about 30 of my friends. I furiously shopped, baked yummy appetizers and desserts, cleaned, and sent texts to everyone I knew. The house was full of a bunch of twenty-somethings and we rang in the new year with music, laughter, drinks, and fun.

I spent the last day of 2008 planning a day of fun for one little girl. I shopped for bottle liners, baby vicks, and batteries for your swing. I fed you appetizing dishes such as; cereal, vegetables, and bananas. I cleaned your nose and tickled your tummy. The house was full of your new toys, baby bottles, and the sound of your sweet laughter.

Oh, how life has changed for me and I know it won't last long! I feel like I will just blink and you will be a twenty-something ringing in the new year with all your friends. But today you were all mine, and I savored every moment of being your favorite person in the world. I am the most blessed to ring in the new year with you. The best is yet to come.

Love you,
Mama

The Sweetest Seven

2008-12-05T20:04:00.015-06:00

GA, (As Papa Dale calls you)

*I am so late on your monthly update...our world has been very busy!*

It feels so good to laugh uncontrollably with you. The kind of laugh that makes you stop breathing a little, or the kind of laugh that brings tears to your eyes. That is the way we laugh together now. When we play peek-a-boo every evening or when I squirt you with your suction thingy in the bathtub. You laugh so hard and it is so contagious. You keep me young at heart.

My sweet girl, one thing that has not made us laugh lately are those stinky old teeth! You have two bottom teeth that just popped up and those little things have kind of consumed our life the last few weeks. Through a few rough weeks, sinus infection, and fever; I hope we have made it through the worst.You do look really cute with that toothy smile, and you love to cuddle with mama when you are sick. :)

You love to talk, talk, talk!! (I think you take after your mama.) Rolling around under the Christmas tree is another favorite of yours. You have found a whole new world under there! You are so much fun!! I pray for your little heart to grow strong and courageous everyday. You are beautiful Gracie Ann Bullard!

Love you,
Mama

Giving thanks...

2008-11-27T23:14:00.005-06:00

For breath in my lungs, a beautiful home, and a family that I can count on...

For an undeserved gift from God who has taught me a whole new meaning of life and love...

For a man who is an amazing father and husband...each day that passes with him holding my hand is better than the next...

For a God who takes me as I am, and loves me in such a way that allows me to be free...

For laughter and memories like these...My cup runneth over.

Think Pink

2008-11-21T10:34:00.006-06:00

I am super excited about my new business! It involves lots and lots of pink, getting beautiful on the inside an out, and being with people I adore......

I am a new Mary Kay Consultant!!!!

Some of you may be thinking....what is she selling now???? I went through a brief phase a few years ago of being an independent consultant for another company and it never seemed to be a right fit for me. I believe now, that time of my life was just God’s way of preparing me with the knowledge and skills I would need right now. I am so happy to be with a company that I totally love, believe in, and is totally pink. How could this not be a perfect fit for me? My only regret is that I didn’t find Mary Kay sooner!

A few months ago I began using Mary Kay and fell in love. It is so well made and so incredibly inexpensive. They have totally reformulated all their products in the last couple years and they have really stepped up their game. I was very impressed and the mineral powder is one thing that especially hooked me because it is amazing, and it is so much cheaper than the mineral makeup I was buying. Then, my sweet friend Jamie invited me to lots of fun girl's nights and little by little I felt a tug in my heart that said, "You could do this and so many blessings will come from it." One of the biggest blessings, besides all the great make-up and skin care, is the fellowship with women whom I really admire. I can't wait to see the ministry that will happen with all the people that will cross my pink path! I feel so blessed to be a part of a faith based company, that is also known as America's best selling brand!

My biggest motivation is my favorite little beauty bug, Gracie. I can't wait to teach her how beautiful she is to her maker and how enthralled He is by her inner and outer beauty.

Visit my Mary Kay site here and check out all the new holiday products, my freebies, and even try a virtual makeover. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers as I begin my new and exciting business!

Faith Tested

2008-11-16T20:52:00.005-06:00

Yesterday I was completely drawn to a story in Genesis 22. The one which so vividly describes Abraham taking his son, Isaac, up a mountain only to offer him up as a sacrifice of obedience to God. Abraham sets out to obey this command without question. We all know the ending, the Lord stops Abraham at the last possible moment and he turns to discover a ram in the nearby bushes, a provision sent from God.

Reading this story in the past, I had the tendency to romanticize it a little and somehow think of it as a fairy tale. A story predetermined to have a happy ending. However, reading this time around I really put my focus on Abraham. I tried to imagine how he might have felt that day. God had given him such a shocking task and Abraham didn't know the ending. It didn't cross his mind as he climbed up the mountain with his son, whom he would put on an alter for sacrifice, that he would walk victoriously down that same mountain with Isaac still by his side. He had no clue that his God would intervene and provide another sacrifice at the last minute so his precious son would be spared. He didn't understand why all this had to be done, but he did it anyway. This, to me, is the most important part of the story. He didn't just tell God he would do it. He didn't merely walk up the hill and then expect God to come to his rescue. He did it all. He built that alter and bound his son on top. He raised his knife into the air in a moment of complete and utter submission and it was then, and only then, God could show up in a big way. In that moment God spoke to Abraham.

Genesis 22:17-18~ I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."

To think, Abraham might have totally missed out on the fullness of God's blessings had he not shown such faith and obedience in being open to God's instruction. Sometimes it is not about what the outcome could be, but about our steadfast decision to take a step into an uncomfortable direction we know we are being called. It is about hearing God and climbing that mountain with no clue of how, or even if, the Lord may show up. It is about that moment with our hand raised in the air that he will come to our rescue and provide with us with His sweet blessings in a way only He can.

What is it that God may be asking you to carry up the mountain? What big step is He asking you to take? Know that He will intervene and in that moment of your faith being tested, you are surely being blessed.

Long Overdue

2008-11-13T00:09:00.004-06:00

It has been a while since I have posted pics of my precious doll. Here are just a few sweet pics of my beautiful baby girl. Isn't she is such a big girl!! Also...I thought I would post a few of her in her costume. She was the sweetest little bee ever and she wore her costume all around town on Halloween to shop with Mama. And...What bee wouldn't be complete without a big bee bow??

Life is good and being her mama is even better.

Wisdom

2008-11-04T20:54:00.003-06:00

Reading these words written by a very wise woman, in my mind, leaves no room for question.

"Here's the deal. You can't have it both ways. You can't pick a candidate that is pro-abortion that you know will choose at least 2 pro-abortion supreme court justices if you are against abortion. We allow 4000 babies every day to be killed in the U. S.. Just over 4100 soldiers have been killed in the Iraq war in 6 years. How long do you think a nation will go unjudged that allows this? Are you aware of the disproportionate number of African-American babies that are killed? Do you realize that your tax dollars will pay for it under his administration? Do you realize it is a money making enterprise? Wasn't slavery tolerated because it increased profits? Is slavery more offensive than killing 1 1/2 million infants a year? By sucking their body parts out, piece by piece? What kind of people have we become that we are numb to this? As a former labor nurse, let me assure you, the baby IS a baby."

Click here to read all of her amazing words. It will stop you in your tracks and really make you think.

The Stuffing

2008-11-02T23:19:00.008-06:00

We just stuff it all down. Maybe that is what we think we are supposed to do. We pile it into every nook and cranny of our soul. We hide our secrets, our addictions, our shame, and the lies that exist inside of us in the form of insecurities. We think we hide it all so well, but in the process of the stuffing we lose ourselves. Each person has their own reason to justify this survival tactic. Whether it is learned from the example of a family who knew it as the only way to cope, or its just something you've created for yourself as you selfishly hide from your own fears. Whatever the reason, known or unknown, it is there.

We hold on so tightly sometimes that we are too naive to recognize our own sickness. We even attempt to fill our lives so full that maybe we just won't even have to think about it at all. And the worst of it isn't even in the act of what we're doing, but the in the fact that we think we must. In order to be accepted by others, ourselves, or even God we stuff it so tight we can't breath; but even this doesn't stop us. On the outside we try and paint life as a pretty picture of an otherwise false existence.

But why? The thought of the facade makes me want to scream. But how can I? How can I judge this? This is coming from someone who less that a year ago had myself so stuffed with junk that, in turn, I created my own worst nightmare. I went around believing the lies of my own independence and strength without one ounce of real truth peeping through. I held on tight to this illusion of normalcy until, through a vessel of my own choices, I could go no further. It took circumstances that reached painfully into corners of my soul long covered up, and seemingly lost, for me to come to my crossroad. One where I could finally stop hiding behind one false identity after another. I cautiously approached the darkest doors to my heart and prayed that God would be waiting on the other side when I finally got the courage to open them up.

Unwillingly, but so gratefully, I realized for the first time that there was never any box in which I had to make myself fit. I see clearly that all the mistakes and junk in the world could never be too much, and it was never even my job to pack it away so carefully. I once again have found parts of my heart that I thought were gone. Joyfully, I know never again will I miss out on my truest self. I can now cling to my real life. The one that was paid in full for me to live victoriously.
Slowly, through so much undeserved love and healing, a beautiful light is finally able to shine. It is shining brightest on the places of my soul that have been entirely covered since childhood. Places long forgotten and largely overgrown are alive again. Since the light has come in I know I could never, ever go back. And really, despite myself, all that time my stuffing was never too heavy. Not for a man who carried a wooden cross up a treacherous hill, just for me, His beloved daughter.

***This post was inspired by the author of a beautifully written book, "The Shack." Hearing Wm. Paul Young speak was an amazing experience that I will always remember. He was so full of something people in a lost world are trying so desperately to find. The book is phenomenal. Once you hear him talk about his part in the story, all the controversy surrounding the book quickly diminishes. A cool part of this God story is that he wrote the book mostly on a train while commuting to one of his three jobs. His intention was to only give the story as a Christmas gift for his children so that they could know the deepest parts of him. Paul never really intended on becoming a writer when he printed a mere 15 copies at Office Depot after Christmas, mind you, because he couldn't actually afford it before. Little did Paul know that 4 million copies of that same book later, God would use his words to tell a redemptive story. One that would reach so many of God's own children all over the world. It is fiction, but based on Paul Young's heartbreak as a child and a relationship with the God he understood as a man. Paul was amazing, but his passion for Christ was even more riveting. It just shows that apart from God, we can do nothing.

Pretty Pretty Pumpkin

2008-10-25T19:11:00.004-05:00

Happy Half Birthday

2008-10-23T19:43:00.004-05:00

Bug,

Six months is not really that long at all. Really, it is very short. I am amazed at how much you have added to our lives in such short amount of time. You have taught me a whole new meaning of love, patience, and happiness. Each day that we are your mommy and daddy we find new things to love about you.

I have learned a lot about you in the last 6 months. I will share some of my favorites to celebrate how much you have grown and changed since the first day we brought you home.

1. You make the cutest faces now. One of our favorites is when you scrunch your nose up and breath in and out really fast. You almost sound like a little puppy and we always laugh. I think you've discovered that you can make a lot of funny noises and you like to show them off.
2. You are so close to crawling. You are trying so hard to scoot your little bottom along by pushing your feet down into the floor. You are almost there and we are so proud of how strong you are. You don't let not crawling stop you though because if you want to get somewhere, you just roll all the way there.
3. You say "ma" and "ama", but not "mama". Don't worry though, bug, I know what you mean:)
4. You love your tea party excersaucer. You play so intently when you are in it as if you have a very important task in front of you. You get the most serious look on your face as you discover what you can do with each of the toys on top.
5. You are on the best sleeping schedule ever! You sleep from 8 to 8 every night!! We could not have asked for a better baby!
6. You think your daddy is the funniest person in the world. He can make you laugh like no one else can. Your eyes completely light up every time you see him. You save your wild and playful side for him and your sweet and gentle side for me.

Six things for a sweet six month old baby! I am so happy that God picked me to be your mommy.

I love you so much,
Mama

Quarter Life Discoveries

2008-10-18T16:22:00.003-05:00

.....I lived the first part of my twenties trying my hardest to hold onto the past. I spent too much time thinking that "the good old days" held some kind of secret to a lost happiness and youthful carelessness. I thought if I could just go back or even recreate it for one day, all things in the world would feel perfect. I sit here now at 25, not claiming to know it all, but claiming to know one thing. Happiness is being perfectly content in any and all circumstances and appreciating the now, no matter what that may look like. I will move forward, but not too fast. There is something so liberating about soaking in each season and not grasping so hard to what lies behind me, or giving all my energy into rushing to the next. I will give the best of me to right now.

.....Good friends are the people who see the very worst side in you, yet still love you because they know your heart is good. You don't ever have to worry what they really think of you, what they say when you aren't there, or even what they think about your outfit. Your friendship with them is way past what is on the outside. You can say what you feel and disagree about the really big stuff. They don't feel judged, nor do they judge you. These are the friends who skip the small talk. Those are the best kinds of friends and they are very rare finds in this world.

.....Love is not about creating romantic moments that you might see in a script. Love is not found in something that has a price tag. Love is about living day-to-day life with someone and taking the time to look up and see them giving of themselves just for you. It is being totally blown away by the person you see beside you and allowing yourself to be humbled by their sacrifice. Real love holds moments you could never create with any amount of money or planning. Love is found in the everyday...You may just have to stop for moment to make sure you recognize it.

.....The best is yet to come.

Awestruck

2008-10-14T20:11:00.004-05:00

**This is a long overdue post that I have been so desperately wanting to share since the day it happened, but this is the first chance I have had to write about it. It was one of the most amazing days of my life.

My pastor had a vision. One where hundreds of people would make a step out in faith that would forever change the course of their lives. One where they might accept Jesus for the first time, or one where they would publicly proclaim their desire to have a deeper relationship with their savior. This vision consisted of swimming pools, lines of people, and buying everything someone would need in the chance that we might have someone be spontaneously baptized. We worked for weeks preparing and mapping out everything down to the last detail.

We were nervous, but through the risk of looking crazy or thought of no one stepping out, we could still somehow feel that God was about to move in a big way. The day before people on staff sent out emails asking and challenging us with the question, "What if only one is baptized? Will it be worth it?" We had to think that it was. Even if one life was changed forever, it was. We had to trust God that the heavens would open up in our little corner of the world on that day, October 5, 2008. Today was their day.

The morning came and no words can describe the presence of God in our buildings. He was there. When my pastor spoke people listened. One by one people took a step of faith and I was blown away. I saw things that day that I never imagined. I saw lines that reminded me of something I would see at an amusement park weaving through our building and all the way out into the parking lot. I saw dads give up their selfish pride that they have been clinging to for so long and being risen up from the water into a new life. I saw families and spouses being baptized together. I saw tears of relief on their sweet faces after all these years in bondage. 500. That was the number of people who chose God that day. 500.

There are so many stories. You will just be awestruck reading them and there is no holding back the tears. You can read a lot of them here, in the comments of the whole last week of posts on my pastor's blog. And here on my boss' blog, and our children's pastor at CT, about baptizing her own two sweet kiddos. There are so many, too, that will never be known. So many stories that will never be told, but generations from now lives will be changed because one day God showed up in a big way to bring new life to His people and their families.

And if that wasn't enough...the next weekend 54 people decided that was their day to take that step in faith and each of them were baptized and given new life. I am just blown away. I am so blessed to be at a church where my pastor takes risks and listens to the voice of God, even with all the fears that may come alongside it.

I am still praying hard for those still living in the day to day muck. You, who feel stuck in a pit of despair and have yet to make that step to give up control and fully trust Him with all your hopes and fears...with every little detail of your life. Today can be your day.

Beautiful!

2008-10-08T09:23:00.002-05:00

Check out one of my sweet friend's blog. She is amazing. She took Gracie's 3 month pics and I just love them!! Here is a sneek peak at some of them. Kristen is so talented and my sweet Gracie looks beautiful.

Moments with you...

2008-10-05T14:30:00.002-05:00

The sun is setting just above us. Sounds of children playing and passing cars swirl through the evening breeze. You and I lay on our bright pink blanket covering the earth below us. I watch as you gaze intently in wonder at the nature all around us. Your delicate hands grab aimlessly as you attempt to catch the grass, while examining the texture of the blades between your fingers. Sunlight and curiosity glimmer in your blue eyes. You are mesmerized by the world around you.

I listen as you babble in excitement and I think to myself, "Life was made for these moments." Moments where everyday life is but a faint memory. Moments when all I see is you and not the heartbreak of yesterday or the worry of tomorrow. Moments where childhood dreams are remembered and the blessings of today are realized. My heart is still in these moments with you.

I pray over your little heart, so fragile and new, for when everyday life may one day feel like too much. Or for when friends let you down and you find yourself disappointed. For when you have so many dreams and no clue what to do with them all. Or when faith seems so small and waiting patiently on God's timing seems like a nearly impossible task.

I pray then that these moments with me are tucked away somewhere in your grown-up heart. I hope you remember my smile and your own childhood dreams. I pray you remember our moments. May they leave an imprint of never ending love and stillness on your heart...forever.

I am a mom....I use coupons

2008-10-01T20:58:00.002-05:00

I am now the annoying person in line at your local grocery store who pulls out her coupon organizer and one by one puts all her coupons on the counter. I then double check my pink organizer just to be sure I didn't forget to give the cashier one of the prized possesions, I so carefully clipped. I leave the store feeling gueniuely satisfied with my savings, almost as if I know a secret that no one else knows. I again feel proud when I get home and put all those groceries where they belong thinking to myself...I saved myself $0.60 on this, and $1.00 on that....

This is coming from a girl who one year ago to date rarely even cooked a meal, much less used coupons. I thought coupons were dumb. I thought coupons were a waste of my precious time. Now, sitting down on the search for coupons gives me a thrill like a kid searching for eggs on Easter. I feel I have found the golden egg when I spot a coupon for something I really love!

I am new a woman ladies and gentleman. I am a mom now, and I use coupons.

And if you see me pull out my pink coupon organizer at your local grocery store...I won't be offended if you choose another line. :)

Another month goes by....

2008-09-23T19:54:00.005-05:00

You played so well all afternoon. Your giggles are contagious. For dinner you ate sweet potatoes; your favorite so far. You took your bath, drank your bottle, and now you are down for the night... at 7:50 pm, without even a peep. You are such a good baby! I am certainly blessed with you sweet girl. Happy 5 months today!! You are so loved.

Afternoon strolls

2008-09-12T20:59:00.012-05:00

Isn't she sweet!!

Absurdity: Part Two

2008-09-07T17:17:00.011-05:00

I feel a real connection with my sweet blogger role model today, Tales from the Running Mama. I remember not too long ago reading her post called Absurdity. At that time, I was a brand new mama and I laughed at her post about dedicating sweet Charlie. I couldn't even imagine Gracie being to that milestone so soon. Her rantings involved a whirlwind of a morning, but ended in a sweet moment of peace. A moment where the serenity of Jesus transcended all of it, right in the middle of her everyday chaos.

Here is where my story picks up (not quite as eloquently written as hers)....imagine, if you will, this picture.

It's 4:00 AM, AM PEOPLE.... We are driving back into Dallas from yet another gig, (this being the glamorous life of a rocker husband) and only one thought is on the front front of our minds. We need to be a church at 7:30, this is the day that Gracie is getting dedicated. I think to myself about this huge day in our lives as parents, and hers, as a daughter of the Lord.

It's 6:30 AM...We hear the alarm screeching through the silence. After pushing snooze a few times, we get up almost in a dream-like state and rummage through our closets for something that is nice to honor this day, the day she will be dedicated. Today a CT Kids t-shirt and jeans just will not work.

It's 7:30... We are driving down the road feeling barely alive and I am putting on my make-up. I think about the task ahead of me. I am about to make a promise to give her to Jesus and trust her in His care. I am really cut out for this job?

It's 7:50....We pull into the church parking lot and instantly we go through our separate routines of another Sunday as church employees. Unload the gear, set up the classrooms, (which this Sunday consisted of putting together a futon) make sure all the new volunteers get to their rooms, put on a smile, and greet all our families. All the while thinking about her, Gracie Ann, and how on this crazy day with two hours of sleep and the thoughts of teaching her all the right things and being all that she needs swirling over our heads. Am I really capable of being the one who will teach her completely about the love of the Lord, a love that I am still trying to comprehend myself?

It's 10:45...finally time. She is beautiful in pink and brown. We parade across the stage and make a promise to her and to our church family to raise her to know the Lord, to do our best to give her over to Him. The people pray for us. I take a peek of all of the sweet people with their hands extended in prayer and I feel overwhelmed. I feel blessed and filled with so much hope.

Afterwards, my mother-in-law, gave me a bag to open for this special day. Curiously, I open it to see framed, beautiful pink words before my eyes that instantly calm my anxious heart.

"....for God so loved Gracie Ann that he gave his only begotten Son..."

With tears in my eyes I realize, I don't have to be everything for her.

He already has been, and will always be, everything she will ever need.

Jesus heard my heart that morning. He was listening to a nervous mama just wanting to be enough. What my head forgot, but my heart soon remembered, He is enough.

Musician in the Making

2008-09-02T20:39:00.003-05:00

Concentrating really hard!

Look at what I can do Mommy!

Gracie decided to help her daddy record some music tonight. She wrote a beautiful song. Her CD will be dropping any day now! :)

Four Months of Being Your Mommy

2008-08-24T21:07:00.004-05:00

Sweet girl,

Each month of being your mommy has been better than the last and this one, so far, has been my favorite. You are so big and you are doing so much, all things I couldn't even imagine just a few months ago.

You are talking non-stop and I love it! You already have an opinion on pretty much everything and you let us know. We have the sweetest conversations all throughout the day. You talk in your baby talk to mommy and daddy as if you know exactly what we are saying to you. I love how you need me and how you know right when it is time for me to get home from work. (You let daddy know if I am late!) You grab for everything (especially your pink poodle) and smile at almost anyone. Your laugh is so sweet and we are starting to hear it more and more. You are amazing.

Grace, you have made us better. You, sweet girl, were one of my earliest childhood dreams when I would rock my babydolls to sleep, pretending to be a mama. I never knew it would be this good actually rocking you, being your mama. God blessed us beyond compare with you. I will try my best to be gentle with your heart as you grow into the woman that God has created you to be.

I love, love, love you!!

Mama

P.S. Daddy says he loves you and he can't wait to hear you sing. Also, he said be sure to cut your fingernails regulary because they hurt when you scratch him. :)

Make Over and Working 9-5, Just trying to make a Livin'...

2008-08-12T21:23:00.007-05:00

***The lesson of this blog...When I don't post for awhile you get a lot of random information at once. Enjoy!

We got a makeover and don't we look pretty! My sweet friend Jamie (I would link her, but I don't know how) changed her background and then she told me what I should do in order to change mine. Now this daunting task scared me a little, because I am not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to any type of modern technology, but I did it! YEAH! I love our bling-bling background! Also, we are getting Gracie's 3 month pics taken this Friday by my other sweet friend and photographer and I will post them soon.

You may also be wondering why I haven't posted in awhile. I am back at work. (Hence the Dolly Parton reference in the title, love her. I once told Chris if I could hear any voice for the rest of my life it would be hers. Don't judge.) I am not teaching anymore though. God has me in a new and awesome season right now and I am working at our church. I know it is a perfect fit for me as a new mommy. I have the greatest team and the job is such a testament to God giving us the desires of our heart. I love his continued faithfulness in our lives.

For now I will say bye-bye to a classroom full of kids and hello to an office I share with, at times, six people. I love it! I am sure you will be hearing more about my fun and crazy team soon.

Also, one more side note in the most random and information-filled post ever, Gracie rolled over Sunday!!! She is so strong and we are so proud of her! We are also getting a new camera this week that takes video, so soon I will post some videos of her showing off her new gymnastic skills. By the way, I thought it was totally cool that she performed her first gymnastic skill on the first night of the Olympic Women's Gymnastics competition. Coincidence? I think not...Olympics 2024, here we come!

The Mommy Marathon

2008-07-24T23:57:00.011-05:00

I look at the clock, it's 4:30. I lay her down after a long day of avoiding naps. Perfect...a little time for myself! I excitedly log on and get lost in blog world, reading the thoughts of others, my favorite past time. In the back of my mind I know I should be taking advantage of this peace to get ready for the night ahead. I ignore the thought, "I don't have to leave until 6:15. I've got plenty of time... just as long as she doesn't wake up."

5:00... I reluctantly shut the lid to my pink laptop and walk to the closet to choose my outfit for the night. I choose black. (I have learned in the last three months that spit-up doesn't show up as much on a darker color.) Next, I begin my make-up and this excites me a little because I haven't worn any since Saturday. But then I hear it... echoing through the house, her faint cry informing me that her nap is over. She only slept 30 minutes and I hope, a little too optimistically, that if I put her passy back in and pat her tummy she will fall asleep again. I literally run through the house and into her room and do both respectively. I realize the "mini-makeover" I have scheduled with myself will now be canceled.

5:05...I hear her crying again; however, this time it might be considered screaming. Running back into her pink room, I peer into the crib and see her rubbing her tired eyes. She sees me and give me a gummy grin. I can't resist, I pick her up and rock her back and forth a little. She coos and I lay her down to change her diaper. We play the "making silly faces" game for a second and we both smile. I carry her to my room and open up the blinds. Maybe she will want to soak up some sun laying on my big bed while I finish the make-up I never really started?

5:20...I am back at the mirror and she is on the bed kicking and smiling. (This lasts about 30 seconds.) The next 15 minutes of our lives are spent like this:

Put her passy in, I do my powder....she spits the passy out and screams. I run in the room put it back in and give her a smile. She is content. I run in the bathroom slap on some blush. Screaming again. I run back in and tell her in a sugary sweet voice, "Baby, I love you so much and I really want to hold you all the time, I do, but Mama would actually like to wear make-up tonight." Passy in. Eyeshadow on one eye. Passy out. I run in and give kisses on her tummy. Passy in. Eyeshadow on the other eye, it is a little bit uneven, but it will do. Passy out. I rush back in, "Don't worry, Mama is here." I pick her up.

5:40ish...I dress her.

5:41...Spit up on that outfit. We find a new one, put it on and I quickly find a matching bib this time.

5:50...I feed her. I hold the bottle with my chin while putting on her shoes with my one free hand. One shoe won't fit and I can't seem to figure it out. I leave it off for a second, burp her, and put her in her swing. I spot the "too small" shoe on the floor and notice a small wad of tissue paper, from when they were brand new, still stuck in the toe. I could have sworn that she had worn these shoes before?? I take it out, throw it on the ground, and put it on her chubby foot.

6:10...Only 5 more minutes and I still need to fix my hair and pack her bag. I sprint back to my bathroom. She begins to whimper. I know the content baby I left in the swing won't be there for long. I hurriedly stick my hair up in a half pony tail and straighten a few pieces in the back. I hear her whimper turn to a wail. I take a second glance and realized that I forgot my mascara. I grab it and slap it on in under a minute.

6:15...We should be walking out the door. I run over to tell her, "Mommy is going to pack your bag and then I promise we are leaving and you get to ride in the car!" She returns my promise with a quivering lower lip. I run to the kitchen get her bottles ready, run to her bedroom grab extra burp clothes, and run to find the camera.

6:20ish...I load her in the car and run back in the house to grab her stroller. I fold it up and put it into the trunk of my Mustang, which is a job all in itself! Finally, I grab her bag and my purse, lock up, and head out.

6:30...Driving away and only 15 minutes late, not too bad. I begin to have this gnawing feeling like I forgot something. At the stop sign I search my purse. No cell phone. "What if Daddy tries to call?" I say out loud. I turn around with hesitation, take the house key off the keyring so I can leave the car running, and run into the house to search for my phone.

6:43... Back in the car, phone in hand, and headed down the road. Almost 30 minutes late. I look back and my princess is sleeping. I roll my eyes and smile. I take a drink of my now lukewarm Diet Dr. Pepper and, oddly, I feel a sense of accomplishment.

I feel like I just ran a marathon in heels, with a baby on my hip.

3 months already!!

2008-07-23T23:51:00.005-05:00

Pink Lady

Look at those baby blues!!

Mommy and Gracie

A half smile...she was so tired!!

Being silly in the tub...one of her favorites

Gracie-bug,

I feel like I blinked and this last month was gone!! You have been so much fun lately!! You make Daddy and Mommy laugh so hard everyday. Your faces and sounds that you make now are the cutest thing ever. You have found a new love...ceiling fans! Your favorite thing to do now is to lay on the couch, listen to daddy play guitar, and watch the ceiling fan go. You just smile at it, kick your legs, and talk to it with all that you've got! You are so close to rolling over. You get about halfway there all by yourself. Any day now and we will be chasing everywhere! You have your stash of toys in the living room corner and you have already decided which ones are your favorite. You are definitely a little girl who knows what she wants. I love that about you! We fall in love with you more everyday.

Love you forever,
Mama

it's been awhile...

2008-07-17T16:43:00.003-05:00

I have a lot of blank boxes this month on the baby calendar I keep of Gracie's first year. On it I carefully note all of her "firsts", her favorite things, and whatever else I think merits going down as a memory. Needless to say not much has happened lately in terms of baby milestones around our house. That is also another reason why I have not posted in a while, thinking without a major milestone, I have nothing worthy of writing for the blogging public.

However, I remembered today while rocking her I was wrong. There are so many things she has been doing that are very much worth writing about, even though there may not be a pre-made sticker that came with the calendar of each of these unique moments, such as "first smile" or "first doctor's visit." I thought I would share our moments with you, as small as they may be, they are what I get excited about.

The other night while sitting in the rocking chair rocking her to sleep, I pressed my cheek to hers and thought "I will love you forever". Immediately after the thought entered my mind, she grabbed around my neck and squeezed as hard as she could. Mind-Reader? I think so.

She has been trying so hard to talk. Each time we talk to her she moves her mouth to copy our words and then her eyes light up like she has done something worth being proud. Then yesterday, while sitting with her daddy, I heard him yell, "Baby, she is talking. She just said 'moo' twice." I laughed and said, "Wow, that is really cool." But secretly, I don't really think that would count as a word though unless she were a baby calf.

There are so many more little things that she does like moving positions from where I lay in her crib, grabbing onto her favorite toys and smiling, sleeping a full 8 hours through the night, and discovering her feet and almost laughing at them. These are the things that probably don't mean anything to anyone else, but make my day complete. My heart is full, even if her calendar doesn't show it.

Isn't she Lovely...

2008-06-27T00:26:00.003-05:00

Sweet Baby

2008-06-23T23:42:00.005-05:00

Dear Gracie,

You are two months old! I know I can't believe it either! This last month has been so full and so fun as you have begun to develop your own little personality and become your own little person! The best thing about this month is that you have started to coo and smile at mommy and daddy when you hear our voices and see our faces. How sweet that is for us to see such perfection.

This month started off by you spending all your time with daddy. Mama had to go back to work for two weeks to end the school year with my class, and daddy stayed home to take care of you. He did a great job with you and got you on a great sleeping schedule. He is not just a great daddy, but a great husband too. He not only took care of you during the day, but he did all the late night feedings too, so that mommy would be all rested up for work the next day. He is very selfless when it comes to you, sweet baby. I was proud of him. He loves you so much and wants to protect you from the world. Now that summer is here, I am home every day with you and we have so much fun together! You keep me very busy! We have been to the pool, to the park, and to watch daddy play music. You are very adventurous!

I absolutely love watching you grow and change and I always anticipate every milestone you will cross, but it is a bittersweet journey being your mommy. I was very sad when I had to pack up all your newborn clothes because you had outgrown them so fast. You have also started sleeping in your room in your crib and I was so scared to let go of you at first, but you sleep so much better in your big crib. I know that you have much more growing to do sweet baby. This is only the beginning of the adventure of being your mommy and the series of letting you go a little bit at a time. But for now you are still my sweet little baby girl and I will keep each moment tucked away in my heart forever.

Love you,

Mama

Overcome

2008-06-18T23:58:00.003-05:00

Tonight I sit here in front of my computer in a cozy little home, a beautiful sleeping baby girl I am watching on the monitor, and the dull sound of music in the background as my diligent husband is recording in the next room. It seems as if everything is right in our world, but I can not help but feel overcome.

I feel for a mother and father who lost their son in a senseless death a few days ago. Tonight at the funeral home I gave the father a smile and saw only a blank stare on his worn face. I feel scared for a beautiful nineteen year old girl who lays in a hospital bed tonight as her mother, father, and so many friends wait patiently and pray for the latest updates. I feel for my old college minister who lost his seventeen year old nephew this week...he was about to start his senior year of high school. I pray for a dear sister who longs for a child and feels hopeless at times. I cry for a mother who lost her sweet baby and is still so full of faith as I read her thoughts everyday. I try to sort through why people walk away from marriages and leave their promises behind. I am overcome.

I look to my God and ask why it seems so dark out there. I hear a stillness that requires me to trust. To trust that He knows exactly how my heart feels in this moment. To trust that He is walking with each of these families as they try to conjure up strength from their innermost being. To trust that He hears my prayers for each of these. Prayers for a perfect peace that will calm their troubled hearts and the "stormy seas" in their midst. I know you are there God. You have a beautiful tapestry painted for each one of their lives. My prayer is that they know it too and just trust.

This is the verse that has been hanging on my fridge for months. I clung to this during the some of the darkest places of my life this past year. I was in a place of a horrible unknown. I truly did not know if my marriage would survive all of the blows it had taken. I was in a broken place. A place where all I could do was trust.
Psalm 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their Trust in the Lord."
Guess what...it did survive. Now it is more than I could have ever hoped for. Through pain HE has created such beauty.

I am overcome, not by these present troubles, but from the neverending and true faithfulness of my amazing Heavenly Father.

The Family

2008-06-16T15:09:00.000-05:00

Gracie in her swing being cute.

Aunt Candice and Mommy

Uncle Taylor and Mommy

At first there were two.

Sleepy Gracie after a busy weekend and Mommy.

Here are some new pictures that we have taken of our little family. We had a great Father's Day weekend. Chris had a show on the lake on Saturday night and Uncle Collin and Aunt Candice came to watch. While Mommy and Daddy were doing that, Gracie went with her Gigi and Poppa Dale to her first rodeo. Then, on Sunday we had Father's day dinner and Gracie gave her daddy two new pairs of flip flops and a new iPhone for being such a great daddy!

Cardboard Testimonies...Amazing

2008-06-11T23:35:00.001-05:00

It is astounding how God can take our mess and turn it into something more beautiful and perfect than we could have ever imagined. He is always there in the midst of our darkest days. He can't fix what isn't broken. I love my Jesus.

My cardboard testimony?

Hungry for control and a marriage on the rocks...
totally surrendered to God...a marriage richly blessed, restored, and incredibly amazing.

What's yours? Keep the faith even if God is still working on the other side of the cardboard.

Schools out for the Summer!

2008-06-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

Another school year is over and I have let another group of my babies go onto third grade. I worried over them everyday and hoped that I was teaching them enough to prepare them for the next grueling year. Most importantly, I hope that I taught them how to be good people and find their talents and make good choices. I loved all of my kids this year and they definitely made me a better teacher.

I was so glad that Gracie got the chance to come up and meet them. The kids have been watching me grow and talking about baby Gracie all year. When they were making artwork about their favorite 2nd grade memories, most all of them wrote "Baby Gracie". They worried all year about me being on my feet, what I was eating and drinking, and how she was growing. They also had lots of advice, since a lot of them are experts with baby brothers and sisters. This class will always be so special to me!!

Oklahoma

2008-06-01T12:15:00.000-05:00

Mommy, Aunt Erin, Aunt Courtney, and Gracie Ann

Dr. Aunt Erin and Gracie Ann

Although Gracie is a native born Texan, there are a few reasons we just love Oklahoma. One of them is the amazing friends we have there. We just went up this weekend to watch my best friend, Erin, graduate from OU Med School. We are so proud of her accomplishment!! Gracie was proud too, and showed it by being a perfect baby through the whole graduation. I am a blessed mommy!

Another reason we love it is all the good memories we have there. That state holds some of my most precious memories from college. When I cross that state line and breath that Oklahoma air, it never fails, I can't help but reminisce.

Last, but not least, that is where I met and fell in love with Gracie's daddy. So I guess you could say that Gracie is half Okie.

Things just seem a little bit simpler there. Maybe it is because I was there at a simpler time in my life...when all I had to worry about was making it to class on time.

One Month

2008-05-24T00:52:00.000-05:00

My big-blue-eyed beauty being silly!!!

Gracie Ann,

I can't believe that you have been in the world for one whole month!! It seems like just yesterday you were just a dream. I dreamed about how you would look and what you would be like. I worried. I worried about you making it into the world safely and being strong. I wondered. I wondered if God had equipped me with all the tools that I needed to be a great mom to you. I prayed. I prayed that you would have a love of God that would pour out of you onto others and that you would find His distinct purpose for your life.

We have spent the last month learning you. We have studied your face, fingers, and toes. We have breathed you in to memorize your sweet smell. We have listened carefully to every sound and cry to try and figure out what it is you are telling us. I still feel like I have a lot to learn so I apologize if I don't get it just right the first time.

We have quickly discovered your likes and dislikes as we strive to make your world a lovely place. This is what we know about you so far baby girl.
1. You love to listen to the sound of rain and rushing water. You loved this in my belly too and it made you dance in mama's tummy, but now it relaxes you. One of your favorite places to sleep is in your pink Boppy chair in the bathroom with the sun shining on you through the big window while listening to the sound of mama's big bathtub.
2. You are strong willed.
3. You have a big personality!
4. You are a daddy's girl.
5. You like to snuggle up in the crook of mommy's neck and curl your legs up on me like a frog.
6. You are a child of routine.
7. You kick your legs when you are mad.
8. You are a very social baby. You love people and you have never cried in public.
9. You love to soak in the world.
10. You are musical.

I hope you know how much we love you. I hope that you feel safe when you are home. I hope that we can show you how to love others and be your own person. I hope that we can show you what it means to have a love for God that defines who you are so you don't have to go searching. I hope that we can give you a security that allows you to be independent and adventurous later in life. I hope that you can love those who hurt you. I hope that you are strong enough to stand up for what you believe in and not be swayed. I hope that you take the best parts of each of us. I hope that we are everything that you need us to be.

I promise that we will be there to cheer on your every milestone. I promise that we will make you laugh. I promise that when you get your heart broken we will feel it too and love you through it. I promise that we will always be your home.

It is only the beginning sweet baby girl and we are walking this road together. I can't wait to see what is in store for your life. You are already great! I love you!

Love,
Mama

Welcome to the Mom Club...

2008-05-21T20:43:00.001-05:00

Well, it's official! I have joined the mom club. How do I know this to be true? Let me list a few of the criteria that I feel have entered me into such a coveted position:

1. I am still wearing the same shorts and t-shirt that I fell asleep in last night. (Today was a rough day.)
2. As soon as Chris' key hit the door today I told him I had to get out of the house for awhile. He said, "Sure, I'll watch Gracie. You go and take your time and do something for yourself." Where was my long-awaited escape to, you might ask? The post office, Sonic to get a tea peach tea, and a trip to Kroger where I made sure to dilly-dally as much as possible. It felt wonderful!!!
3. I have spit up in my hair.
4. I can't remember brushing my teeth today.
5. This list makes me sound like I have personal hygiene issues, but really I just don't have time or I am too delirious to care.
6. I got 6 thank-you cards completed today and I feel I have made a real accomplishment.
7. Everything in my washer at this very moment has poop stains on it.
8. I haven't worn make-up in three days and I am not quite certain what day it is when asked.
9. I have no idea what I am doing.
10. I know I am blessed.

Where is my badge? Then again, if I am walking around town looking like what I described above is it necessary for me to need one? I think not. These are the days of my life.

Good Friends and Hotdogs

2008-05-20T22:53:00.000-05:00

We had a picnic on Sunday and grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. The weather was amazing and Gracie was a model baby. She graciously let everyone hold her and she loves to be outside...it is one of her favorite things. The best thing about the day was wonderful people. All the people we love who we always tell, "We have to hang out." We are more than blessed to be surrounded with people who love us and who have been there through all the stages of our life as "The Bullards" A quote from Toby Benso about the day, "Can we recreate this exact day on my birthday?"

7 things you don't know about me!! The things you do for friends...

2008-05-20T19:59:00.001-05:00

This is one is for you Jamie. Let's get together very soon!

1. I hate odd numbers. They freak me out. I was severely disappointed when they told me Gracie would be induced on the 23rd. It took everything I had in me to swallow back the tears. I didn't have the guts to tell the doctor my fear of odd numbers, but it left a bad feeling in my tummy. Now that Gracie is here it has helped my number fear to subside just a little.

2. I not-so-secretly wanted to be a country singer when I grew up. My parents bought me a pink guitar with daisies on it for my 18th b-day. I also wrote "Nashville" on top of my HS graduation cap. Then I learned two songs and decided I would just marry a singer instead, since I can't really sing in tune;). I live vicariously through Chris.

3. I can get a perfect score on Karaoke Revolution on the song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."

4. I used to throw up at almost every game I cheered in high school. Cheese Fries Kill.

5. I love to dress up in crazy costumes at random times and sing at the top of my lungs.

6. I used to put on concerts in my college dorm room with the pink guitar mentioned above wearing my Popeye's cowboy hat and a zebra towel wrap.

7. I have to have my house clean of clutter at all times...but my closets, garage, and drawers are a mess.

I tag Erin and Courtney. I know that you both already knew most of these things about me...but are there 7 things I don't know about you??

Bath Time

2008-05-14T21:50:00.000-05:00

Gracie Ann is three weeks old today!!! She is growing so quickly! Last Friday when we went to the doctor she had gone from weighing 6.8 lbs. t0 7.6 lbs. I was holding her tonight and I told Chris that I think is at least 8 lbs. by now because she feels a lot heavier! She is eating like crazy...every time she eats she acts like we never feed her:) This week her favorite things to do besides eat are to sit outside in the backyard, listen to music, and play on her tummy. One of her all time favorite things to do is take a bath. No matter how upset she is or what kind of day we have had, the second she sits in that pink tub she is in heaven! Just take a look at these pictures.

We are so blessed to have this baby girl!!!

Chicks Rule!

2008-05-07T21:23:00.001-05:00

Here are some pics that I just thought were cute of our little princess!! Isn't she perfect!

Gracie's First Letter

2008-05-07T16:13:00.000-05:00

Okay I had to post this, because this picture is priceless! Gracie got her social security card in the mail yesterday and when Chris took her picture with it this is what she did! I can't believe she looked at it and smiled...she cracks me up! I love how her little personality is coming out already! She is two weeks old today. She is changing everyday!

Memory Lane

2008-05-03T11:20:00.000-05:00

As I was reading a blog written by another mom who is an amazing writer, I started thinking back on who I was before April 23, 2008. I was a cheerleader who thought our last football game was the most devastating event in the world. I was a college girl with not a care in the world who stayed up all hours of the night running the roads of Ada singing at the top of my lungs. I was the president of my sorority who had to solve very important matters of the sisterhood. I was a newlywed who went on spur of the moment dates and vacations with my husband. Now I ask myself, "Was that really me?"

The night before I had Gracie I told Chris that we should go out for one last night as non-parents. He said, "What do you do with a woman who is nine months pregnant. I think we already are parents." Can you imagine a mom-to-be out on the town like a bride-to-be. One last night of freedom out like a young bachelorette. It makes me laugh just thinking about waddling around about to pop trying to hold onto to my youth with all I've got inside of me.

Now I feel like someone new. I am someone who can sit for hours memorized by the face of a newborn baby. I am a mommy who jumps up at even a slight whimper and whose stomach aches when I am away from her. I get up at all hours of the night to feed, rock, and change this precious baby. I read her books and talk in silly voices. I pray that she she grows strong and loves others with a servant's heart. I sit and think every minute that these are the best days of my life.

I was made to be Gracie's mommy, but that carefree girl is still very much there inside of me. One day when Gracie is old enough to ride down the road and sing at the top of her lungs...I will teach her all about what it means to be young. I will tell her stories that she won't believe about her mommy. I will tell her stories about her daddy sweeping me off my feet. I will show her the world.

Daddy's Gone:(

2008-05-01T19:34:00.000-05:00

Chris left to go to L.A. with Carly and the band today. He will be gone until Sunday afternoon. They are shooting a music video. It is crazy that all this started happening for him right before Gracie was going to be born. God really is so faithful. Every year of our marriage He has blessed us more and more. He is enabling Chris to do what he has dreamed of since he was a little boy and provide for his family all at the same time. I am so proud of his determination to achieve his goals as a professional musician.

In the mean time, Mommy has to see if she can handle the late night feedings without Daddy here to help. He is usually the one to get up with her in the night and Gracie loves her time with him. We will have to do our best without him...just us girls. When we got to the airport he told Gracie, "You better get used to this place, you will be here a lot." We miss him terribly already! The good rides to the airport are the rides when we get to pick him up to come home!

Coming Home

2008-04-29T22:44:00.000-05:00

We have had an amazing time at home. Here are some pics of getting ready to leave the hospital and Gracie's first day at home with Mommy and Daddy.

Amazing Grace

2008-04-29T14:00:00.000-05:00

I sit here and look at this little miracle in front of me and think how could anyone not believe in God's amazing grace and power in our lives? She is perfect...I would compare it to what an image of the Lord's reflection would look like. I am blessed to be her mommy and have her to hold her all the days that her heart beats here on this Earth. I am the most undeserving of this miracle.

She came into the world at 6:00 pm on April 23, 2008 weighing in at 7 pounds 1 ounce and 19 inches long. The doctor told us after 6 hours of labor that we would have a C-section, which I was fine with. I just wanted her here. On our first night with her, she choked in the night and the nurse rushed her to be put on oxygen. The next day it happened again only this time she stopped breathing. At this point they decided to keep her in the NICU. To be separated from her was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I just had to remind myself of all the prayers I prayed when she was in my tummy. I prayed that God's will would manifest itself in this little girl. I know that everything that happens while he trusts her in our care is for His purpose.

As the days went on she grew strong. She went from only being able to eat a half an ounce to over 2 ounces by the end of her stay. She learned how to suck, swallow, and breath all at the same time. She also learned how to cough and got to be under the "tanning bed" for her jaundice. After 5 nights in the NICU and lots of prayer, she came home. She loves her pink room, listening to her daddy play guitar, her swing, and her stuffed animals.

It is amazing how this little miracle has made our home feel complete. We never knew what we were missing without her in our lives. Thanks to the NICU, she is on a great schedule! She loves to listen to music and has her own pink ipod player (that she took from her Gigi) that stays with her in crib when she sleeps. She is a great baby. Daddy wakes up with her at her 2-3am feeding and she plays a little with him and then she wakes up about 7am to eat with mommy.

How can we prepare for how this baby will change our lives? I don't think we will ever know how to comprehend the way she makes our lives so much more full. She makes us better people. There is nothing that can compare to those beautiful eyes looking into ours. Thank you Jesus for showing us so much love and Grace.

A Princess, a Rockstar, and our Saving Grace

When I Grow Up...

Something Heavenly

Storing up My Teasures

The future worth living for...

Hope for the Darkness Pt. 4

by Christie Weehunt, 23-India Office Liaison for Sower of Seeds International Ministries

Born Into Darkness Pt. 3

Trapped in the Darkness Pt. 2

Rescue (Into the Heart of Darkness Pt. 1)

School girl

A Sack of Potatoes

Bittersweet

Legacy

Life is Good

Commitment

I miss my friends

One.

Eleven months and counting...

America's Next Top Model...

Sneak Peek

Cuter than cute...

The Farm

Are you sure it's been 10 months?

Look at this face...

Guitar Hero

My Favorite Nine...

Words for my now...

The last 8 months of 2008...

The Sweetest Seven

Giving thanks...

Think Pink

Faith Tested

Long Overdue

Wisdom

The Stuffing

Pretty Pretty Pumpkin

Happy Half Birthday

Quarter Life Discoveries

Awestruck

Beautiful!

Moments with you...

I am a mom....I use coupons

Another month goes by....

Afternoon strolls

Absurdity: Part Two

Musician in the Making

Four Months of Being Your Mommy

Make Over and Working 9-5, Just trying to make a Livin'...

The Mommy Marathon

3 months already!!

it's been awhile...

Isn't she Lovely...

Sweet Baby

Overcome

The Family

Cardboard Testimonies...Amazing

Schools out for the Summer!

Oklahoma

One Month

Welcome to the Mom Club...

Good Friends and Hotdogs

7 things you don't know about me!! The things you do for friends...

Bath Time

Chicks Rule!

Gracie's First Letter

Memory Lane

Daddy's Gone:(

Coming Home

Amazing Grace

by Christie Weehunt, 23
-India Office Liaison for Sower of Seeds International Ministries